Been Awhile

Wow... I have not updated in quite awhile. Nothing new going on. Still love the job, still trying for a baby, still love my hubby, and still have the world's greatest Bestie. Yeah, life is pretty good :)

End of an Era

I'm putting in my two weeks notice at Barnes and Noble tomorrow. I don't want to, but this new job is so stressful and time consuming that I need my days off just to relax. Also, I want more time with Jamie. We'll never have a baby if we see each other only once a week. Sorry if that's TMI, but hey, we're married so get over it lol. I will miss my BN family. I love it there. I will probably shop there everyday. Yeah, I have a Nook, but I still buy paper books. I'm probably going to cry tomorrow, though.

Today, Kevin spent the day with me to cheer me up after this shitty work week. I really hope things get better. I'm going to lose my mind if it doesn't. Anyway, we went to Sonic, walked around the mall, and went to Wal-Mart and took pictures of ourselves trying on silly hats. I almost got him to try Boba for the first time, but Bobalicious was out of Boba (WTF?). Someone who is willing to walk around the mall with me for 2 hours and not complain about being bored or anything? Yes, I'll take it and I'll take him thankyouverymuch. Yay for besties! :)

R.N.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right? <~~ my thoughts after working as an R.N. for the first time ever. Alone. On the busiest wing of my facility. Alone.

I more work day this week and then I'm back to a mundane, boring close at BN. I'm thinking maybe I should quit there. After 8 years it seems kind of wrong. And I do love my discount. However, a Saturday night to hang out with Jamie or Kevin or maybe sing some karaoke sounds like great stress relief right now. What to do what to do?

Friends

Wow, I haven't written since October 31, 2011. Ok, quick update. Good news!! I got pregnant on Valentine's Day!! Don't get too excited though, the baby decided it didn't want to stick around and I miscarried 5 days after finding out. I've decided not to try anymore. If it's meant to happen, it'll happen. I feel bad for Jamie, though. He wants to be a father someday. I feel indifferent about it. The miscarriage has changed my view on the whole "mom" thing.

Anyway, enough about that. I also graduated Nursing school (finally), passed my NCLEX, and now work at an awesome nursing home near my apartment. So far, I love it. Let's see how I feel tomorrow when I'm by myself for the first time.

I also have a new best friend and I am wondering where this person has been my whole life. I wish he were my brother because he is so awesome, so cool, so sweet, so caring, just everything that I had been looking for in a best friend back when I tried to be friends with a certain co-worker who ended up being a total jerk, but enough about that. Also, I had to drop my writer friend. She ended up just wanting my husband. Good-bye, hope your book gets published, and no, I will not read it, promote it, or go to one of your signings. In the past, friends would join me for karaoke and act like they were doing me such a big favor by showing up. I met Kevin at karaoke. He was there trying to get over his shyness by singing bubblegum pop songs to prepare for wrestling matches where once cannot be shy at all. Anyway, not only does he sing with me (Queen's "Somebody to Love" is our song and there is a video on Youtube and on my FB page), but he dances The Wobble and The Cupid Shuffle with me. No one else has ever been like that. We talk for hours about the stupidest crap and he has never once called me selfish about being sad about the infertility thing. (Another reason I dropped my writer friend. You want to complain to me about being single, but I'm not supposed to be upset that I had a miscarriage? Some friend you are! He had his first professional wrestling match a couple weeks ago and Jamie and I helped him get his costume together. His gimmick was bad and a little insulting, but he was a good sport about it and did a great job. I cheered louder than anyone else there. Oh yeah, I'm pretty much happier than I have been in awhile. I've lost 13 pounds since my miscarriage, but guess what? I'm eating like a normal person again. Guess what else? I've started writing again. This guy is the male version of me and I have come to realize that there are different types of soul mates. There are lover soul mates (which I have in Jamie who is the best husband in the world and loves me for who I am and I am very blessed to have him. He is terrific in every way possible and I will love and adore him forever) and there are friend soul mates (took me 32 years to find him, but I feel I have known him forever). If you ever read this, Kevin, I <3 you and thank you for coming into my life and being there for me when I was in a dark place that no one else really understood. I have a feeling we are going to be friends forever.

Wow, school may start back up in one week. I can't believe how fast this month has gone! I also can't believe that my clinical site is an hour and a half away. Luckily, Jamie's parents have a house that is 20 minutes away, so I'll be spending some time at the beach :) Hopefully, I'll get some studying done there.

I have decided to try Nano this year. My best friend is an author and I let her read some of my writing (scary, I know!) but she said I have potential. Let's hope she's right :)

Graduation

Today was supposed to be last day of class and Sunday was supposed to be my official graduation date. Guess who's getting drunk this weekend? I'll take a pregnancy test tomorrow morning, just in case, but I'm almost 99.9% sure that I'm not pregnant. Yup, getting drunk.